PEPET died yesterday. I've known him for about 2 years, closely, since he decided to moved in to my house. I fell in love with him even before that, when he was still living at my friends' and cared for by them. Deep down, I've always wanted Pepet. Well, it was not difficult at all to fall in love with him.
Pepet was named after his rather funny behaviour. When he was a few months old, he liked to suck your fingers. He never did that to me, but my friends where he was living early in his life, were his usual targets. He was like suckling ... maybe he was trying to do that, since he was seperated from his mother. We never knew who his mother was. He was brought into our lives by another friend, who came one evening with Pepet, and left him there with my friends. Anyway, the word pepet, is our Sarawakian word for suckling. Pepet didn't seem to mind being called Pepet. He actually responded to that name.
After sometimes, out of nothing I guessed, Pepet decided to stay with me. He came one day, ate in my kitchen, slept on a sofa in the living room, and stayed. I was so happy. But in the beginning, I was worried too. What would my friends said about that? Will Pepet's action hurt them? Will they hate him? So I tried not to show too much about my feeling. I just kept on providing food for Pepet, and tried to always be there for him.
One thing about Pepet that you will never find elsewhere, was he like to lie on your chest and sleep. He didn't care if you like it or not, he just did it. When you look at his face, with his eyes half closed, you can't feel anything other than peace, joy, happy. With the way he looked at you, it's like he's saying, "shut up, just lay still. We'll both enjoy this. And, I'm doing this only because I love you". I'd just do that. Looking at him and let the love flowed. I'd just smile :-) ....... Heart filled with love to the brim!
Pepet owned several spots in my house. All the bedrooms were opened for him to sleep in. That also included the wardrobes. On the piles of folded clothes, we all knew that he should be allowed to lie down, even for a while. I have always hated myself if I had to pick him up and put him in his bed, which he never really liked. It was bought from IKEA mind you. Pepet was not ordinary, he had a better taste! For that, we allowed him to choose. Two nights before he passed away, he entered my friend's room and slept in his bed, next to him. Several days before that, he went into my other friend's room, found a corner inside his wardrobe, and made himself comfortable in there.
The sofas, his. The chair that I put in front of the main door, the one that we normally sit on when we're putting on our shoes, his. The last few months, no one sat on that chair. On my balcony, there's a chair that was also Pepet's. He would sit there watching me when I did some gardening, or something like gardening. I knew Pepet was laughing at me when he looked at the state of my garden!
Pepet seldom make lots of noice. He was soft spoken. In fact, he just used his eyes to communicate with you. When I was sitting on the sofa watching TV, he would came over, looked at me as if to say, "OK, give some space. I should be on that sofa". If I ignored him, he would jumped up, sat down, silently, always make sure I knew he was there, and eventually had me moved away.
Since he was very young, he loved going out, roaming the area. There were times when he was out for several days. That's okay. Let's boys be boys. But sometimes, after his rendezvous, he came home with bruises. Even limping. For a few days after that he would stayed inside. Sleeping on the front door chair. Eat, sleep, eat, sleep ... when he's recovered, he'll be gone again. But he always came back home. And I'd always loved him.
I'd say that that's the biggest thing you could ever do to Pepet. You can only love him. For whatever he was, I've never felt otherwise. How could I? To be able to love, that's the greatest. When you do that, you'd only get more love in return. You'd only be happy. A happiness that you'd never have a word to describe. Just, love. Pepet provide you a place where you can love unconditionally. He brought joy into my life, without reservation. If I had a chance, I'd do anything for Pepet.
For whatever he was, I've never really saw anyone who didn't love or like Pepet. But then again, Pepet had never find it too hard to charm any of my friends. My nephew would always be looking for him whenever he came to spend the weekend at my place. In fact, everyone would ask about him if they didn't see him around the house. My friend would even brought some food from Germany for him whenever he's coming to KL. Hugo, who had never really showed much care about Pepet, was rather quiet today. He came home not with his usual loud voice announcing he's home and would like some food. In fact, he went around the house, sniffing, looking around as if wondering where Pepet was. I told him about Pepet yesterday. And he saw Pepet when he was still in his bed, wrapped in my brown scarf.
My friends, thank you for your kind words during this difficult times of mine. I cried under the shower thinking about Pepet. Will I be able to love like I've loved Pepet again? Until you have lost, you'd never really know how much the love was.
I hope he is fine up there. He has never asked for much, always contented with the life we had shared. I hope I have never took him for granted. I hope I have given him the best. I hope for the little that I gave him when he was with me, he was able to find some happiness. I wish I could do more. I wish I've made him the best cat that anyone could ever have. If he's coming back in another life, if it's true that they do have several lives, I'd never want another Pepet anyway. He was the only one.
I love you, Pepet. Roam free now.
